Sunday, November 22, 2009
Best Dream Ever
Pau Gasol: Now with Leather Chaps and Road Warrior Boots
Pau Gasol finally entered the realm of my dreams last night and what a grand entrance it was! I managed to write down what I could remember when I woke up - no shit.
The dream started out with me interviewing him, Ahmad Rashad style, in his boyhood home somewhere in Spain. His mom happened to have a gigantic washtub of beans cooking over a huge stove, as the Spanish are known for.
During the interview we hit it off so well, that I brought him back to the states to hang out with me and all of my friends. In anticipation of the sesh, we went to Costco to buy much needed party supplies. Pau ended up buying a Sick Of It All box set. This dude clearly knows how to party!
Soon enough we arrived at the party, which was actually a punk show in an old Franciscan mission. I definitely remember thinking at some point, "Whoa, I'm totally hanging out with Pau Gasol at a punk show in a mission! What the fuck!?"
Eventually the bands ended and Pau and I perused some of the exhibits the mission happened to have in a side room somewhere. Among these exhibits was a micro sculpture of a velociraptor, displayed next to a specimen of a flea with a pin holding it down. Upon viewing these, Pau knocked the entire display off the table with one sweep of his arm in some kind of primal gesture of dumbfounded frustration. I promptly laughed and shared the incident with Sean Grossman, who happened to be nearby. He was stoked.
Finally, it was time to get onto the drinking and partying. Pau had apparently slipped away to change into party clothes. He pulled me aside to ask my opinion of his wardrobe. Dude was dressed in classic tan leather cowboy chaps, complete with stamped cowboy designs. He lifted those up from his shin to reveal his Mad Max style "road warrior" boots, complete with metal shin plates. Apparently he had bought these while we were shopping earlier and wanted to surprise everyone.
The party was fun, we listened to Sick Of It All, and I made Pau laugh a lot. Everyone showed up, including Roxie, with Christian Bale at her side. When I asked her why he was there, she told me he was her new boyfriend. I remember my specific reply being, "Well, at least now you have someone to beat up the cops!"
Eventually I blacked out, of course, only to be woken up by Roxie, Jessie and their son, who was now 7 years old for some reason. They were yelling some inane question at me and their son's eyes had all kinds of electric currents running through them, like Raiden in Mortal Kombat. Upon answering, I got up to realize that everyone was still up, still high on BEERS and had just heard our conversation. All of a sudden, Pau bursts into the room, dressed in his jammies, which boasted a ridiculously loud pattern of some sort, and drinking a glass of champagne. Without hesitation, he put the Sex Pistols on the stereo and drunkenly shouted, "SEEEX PISTOOOLSSS! PUUUUNK ROCK! YEEEEAH," while triumphantly holding his glass of champagne in the air.
Clearly, I was pretty stoked on how the party was turning out. I got up and surveyed the room. The floor was littered with drunken buffoons, which made me burst into laughter. Bobby Franks, amongst the drunken buffoons, asked me why I was laughing. "Dude! This room looks like a freakin emergency shelter after a natural disaster more than it does a party," I exclaimed while still laughing. Soon enough, the laughing fit devolved into a wrestling/pillow fight amongst the drunken buffoons. Pau wanted to join in but I wouldn't let him due to his hamstring injury that he was still nursing, an allusion to the true state of affairs in the non-dream world.
Next thing I know, I had woken up and thought to myself, "Did I just dream about hanging out and partying with Pau Gasol!?" All of a sudden I looked up and saw that we were still in the party room and Pau was situating his sleeping area on the couch! It wasn't a dream after all!
Then I really woke up and realized that it was a dream. Slightly disappointed, I decided to write all this nonsense down because it was just too good to forget.