Destroy All Pizza Monsters

You may have noticed we changed our look again. I think this one might stick as it comes to us from the amazing brain of Vim Crony. We're especially stoked on our new mascot, Pizza Monster:

If you can think of a better name for him than Pizza Monster, leave a comment and win a prize, or link love, or nothing. Up to you. We're going to celebrate the new style and with the catchy-yet-shady sounds of Night Manager. Chew on "Pizza Pasta" off their new EP of the same name. Then go see them. I saw them with Xray Eyeballs one time and it was rad. Album art is up top.

And speaking of pizza, where can I get this sweatshirt?

I may have to settle for this guy. Seagulls love pizza. You can totally get it from MisNopalesArt. They have a tote bag too.

Dammit. Now I'm hungry.

Dudecake #5: Male Bonding

I saw Male Bonding last night and their new songs are all totally amazing! I bring this up as a pretext for posting the "Year's Not Long" video as this month's "pin-up." It came out last year, but it's worth a reprise on account of it being two minutes and forty one seconds of some of the hottest guy on guy make out action available on the Web.

I speak from experience when I say that nothing is hotter than when dudes get liquored up at parties and start making out with each other. Hoo boy. If you don't know what I'm saying, it's possible that you aren't attracted to men. Watch the video whether you are or not. You know, just to double check.

Beer of August: Sixpoint in a Tall Boy

The beer of the month is any Sixpoint Craft Ale that has found its way into a tall boy. This is a proud development for beer and for Brooklyn. I got to sample quite a bit of it this summer and it facilitated many bad ideas. Though, in most cases, "idea" might be flattering myself. Just uploading this photo of the cans made me wistful for the passing of this warm season. The last one I tried was the very fine Crisp, tasted on the brisk evening when I saw Clueless in McCarran Park. I've been wringing every drop of fresh air and sunlight out of summer and 16 ounce cans of Sixpoint have been an important part of that. Goodby fair season.

Rise of Carnivores

Carnivores has made some strides since I saw them at Vacation Gallery in Atlanta almost two years ago. I posted about them then, and I thought they were great. But I was just down in Atlanta for an actual vacation and saw them at the Highland Inn and it was like seeing a different band -- a tighter band with a more pronounced psych pop thing going on. I was totally dancing and then a cupcake appeared out of nowhere and I totally ate it right there. I'm serious. Stop laughing.

I liked the show enough to decide that I needed the new Chandelier EP in my life so I bought it. You might need it in your life too. It's kinda like Slumber Party but the colors are deeper. Not darker, just more saturated. Well, maybe a little dark. With all the malaise in the lyrics it could be the soundtrack to a bizarre '60s soap opera.

Note that the word vacation is involved whenever I see this band ... coincidence?

Skeletons in the Pool

Teenagers from Outer Space is a beautiful and moving film. Also, it is impossible to watch it and not fall in love with Betty.  You can't blame her wayward spaceman for wanting to stay on Earth.

So Excited!

Amazing shit whizzes past my head on a daily basis now. Like I just saw M.O.T.O and Baby Shakes at this sweet new bar called St. Vitus. If I really cared about you I would have taken pictures. But sometimes I kind of just want to watch the show.

Still, I vow to rationalize what I post on here. Somehow. In the meantime, here's some Hunx and His Punx/Shannon and the Clams porn:

Dudecake #4: Canadian Pride is Hot

But this is probably Photoshop. No one is that awesome. Via.

Beer of July: My Wort

Before July passes away, let me at least tell you about the beer of July. This month we're going with one that I haven't tasted because I can't yet. I'm not even sure it's real. But how can I resist posting when two of this blog's favorite subjects cross paths so spectacularly? Burnt Hickory Brewery in Kennesaw, Georgia is scheduled to open in November and offer a line of beers inspired by some fairly obscure '80s hardcore bands. Black Flag is not obscure, but I'm going with My Wort because working in media has given me a taste for puns. (Heh heh.)

It reminds me of the punk rock foodstuffs that occasionally featured in the Web comic Nothing Nice To Say. Except this might be real. It also might be more clever.

What's amazing is that all the beers sound delicious. They have a black plum lambic inspired by Void!


Via Transition Desert.

the best noise in the world

I walk outside everyday and hear this.

Makes it worth the 50 million mosquito bites i have and the teenage-style acne.

suck it New York, I've got cicadas.

Speaking of Tapes

Burger Records gets your favorite band to let them put all your favorite songs on cassette so you don't have to download them! I don't know why! But I love it! Orange County! This video explains nothing!

Roman Intellectuals

I heard the song "A Cheap Religion" and couldn't help but order this Shit Music for Shit People tape release of The Intellectuals's In the Middle of Darkwhere. They're from Rome and they play dark rockabilly and R&B with lots of machine noise and a steel splinters ground in. I was a little afraid of getting some in my eye the whole time I was listening to side A. They remind me of Black Time or like a hayseed version of Lost Sounds.

The unmarked tape comes in a plastic baggie with a download code and a post card of a tasteful nude, so it's well worth the Euros and the album might be my actual true summer playlist. With songs like "The Joke is on the Sun," it's perfect for everything I have planned, such as staying inside and nursing my reverse seasonal affective disorder.

Dig it:
  The Intellectuals - A Cheap Religion by smfsp

Bad Idea Potluck Vs. Perry Trice

This time Bad Idea Potluck interviews noted eccentric Perry Trice about hitchhiking in middle school.


Claim to Fame
I started the rumor that Marylin Manson played "Paul" from the Wonder Years.

What's the stupidest thing you've ever done?
When I was twelve, I used to sneak out of my house at night and mess around town. One night, I was walking home and a car pulled over and offered me a ride. I wasn't in the habit of hitching rides but I had been picked up by a curious cop two weeks earlier so I guess I was anxious to get home or at least get off the street.

 The guy driving the car couldn't have been more then 25 but when you're twelve, everyone over the age of 18 looks like their 40, so I was trying to remain aware of my surroundings should things take a turn. Sure enough, we hadn't driven more then a mile down the road when the guy reaches over and starts rubbing my thigh. Had this happened to me in my twenties I might have freaked out, but at twelve I suppose there's that mix of knowing you're going to live for ever and not knowing enough to know what danger looks like, so I just squirmed a little and tried to continue making conversation. As luck would have it, about 30 seconds later we came to a stop sign. The guy didn't actully stop, he just kind of rolled it but it still gave me time to push the door open and kind of do a stumble step/jump out of the moving car. I guess we were both surprised because the guy didn't have time to grab me, although I did feel him try, but being young and agile I was able to take off running towards a section of houses I used as a short cut home from school.

Even in the dark, I knew where I was going, but to the driver it must have looked like I just vanished. I ran all the way home and collapsed at the basement steps of my house. Once I caught my breath, the reality of what had happened started to set in a little but really all I had the patience to do at that point was sneak back in the house and make it back into bed.

Are you sorry? 
I'm a pretty firm believer in character building experiences and that wasn't the last time I sneaked out of the house with unintended consequences. However, that was the first and last time I ever hitchhiked.

Are you going to do it again?
Nope. Way to scared now. To my mind, you get away with something stupid once, its because you're lucky. Trying it a second time just makes you stupid. The universe keeps score.

Would you recommend it to others?
Hitchhiking? No. Not really. But I wouldn't have taken some old dude's recommendation at that age either and, what's more, nothing really all that bad happened to me. So, no on the hitchhiking, but yes on the being open to creating your own cautionary tales.

The Perfect Squall

Dogfish Head's Squall IPA is the beer of June. The choice is appropriate considering the all the rain and wind we've been getting here in New York. It's coming down right now in fact and I could go for a glass.

At nine percent ABV, dry hopped, unfiltered, and sold in a handsome bottle, this might be the actual champagne of beers. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I can't describe the way it tastes. Quintessentially hoppy?

All I can tell you is that when I order an IPA, this is exactly how I'm hoping it will taste. I don't think I'll ever try it again. I want to preserve this perfect memory. Which reminds me, the Squall is bottle conditioned, so you can save it and age it.

Dudecake #3: My Daguerreotype Boyfriend

Unidentified Irish political prisoner/sex bomb, 1857

This Tumblr of long dead hotties preserved with early photography methods is whizzing around the Web, but I thought I'd post about it as this month's dudecake. I love Tumblr as a tool for distributing images of good looking people, and My Daguerreotype Boyfriend is the best example of this that I've seen since since Punks I Like to Fuck. 

As I clicked the link to this site and waited for the page to load I thought, "how hot can these daguerreotype boys be?" Wow, very. I was startled by the endless string of babes totally melting the silver on which they were imprinted. And what's more unattainable, and therefore alluring, than a guy who died long before you were born?

Some images are of historical figures who were, indeed, hot, and these are even more alluringly unattainable. They belong to history, not to you. Sigh.

This Tumblr is brilliant! But, so far, there are only two pages. Support the cause, submit images.

Brilliant Colors is Growing Younger

Brilliant Colors have a new single out! This is awesome because, like the first robin you see in Spring, it brings with it the promise of good times ahead. It presages their forthcoming album Again and Again, which is due out in mid-July. That sounds about perfect considering the track was made for porch weather. Never mind that I don't have porch.

"How Much Younger" is dry and bright and hooky like the songs on their loud, crazy debut Introducing.  But, unlike their earlier songs, this one is washy and sweet, though thankfully they didn't skimp on the backbeat. It makes me want to get some batteries for my boombox and head down to the park. This is significant because Brilliant Colors's debut made me want to go spaz out to them at a sunny outdoor concert. Based on this information, Again and Again promises to be a mellower album from a band that still makes me want to go outside and catch some rays.

Check it out and then put some pants on:

  Brilliant Colors - How Much Younger by Slumberland Records