Spit and Passion: Cristy C. Road Takes You Back to Middle School (And You Love It)

I remember the first time I cam across Cristy C. Road's postcards. One of them had a picture of two punk kids making out while one of them stood in a dumpster. It said Croadcore on it.

I stared at it for a long time. I bought it from my friend who had set up a table for his fledgling distro at the show I was at and I remember staring at it many times before actually mailing it to someone. The picture was as compelling as a story or a song might be. Every line was invested with a visible emotion. It was the kind of picture that seemed to have a life of its own. I could look at it a relive the moment in the drawing over and over again.

Now, god help us, this same artist is bringing her gifts to bear on autobiographical comics. I just finished Spit and Passion, her recent graphic novel about how her love of Green Day helped her come to terms with her queer identity as a Cubana middle schooler in South Florida. It's so doggedly honest in word and image that it completely took me back (kicking and screaming) to the weird, liminal frame of mind that I occupied between the ages of 11 and 13. I found it so intense I could only read it a few pages at a time in my most relaxed state. So worth it, though.

It's a memoir, but it's also one of the best things I've read about music in a long time. She's so unrestrainedly goofy, specific and insightful in exhuming this story about discovery and survival that it made me want to go back and listen to Dookie or even American Idiot.

Right now, I'm pretty into her tarot card series too.

Ain't Gonna Pee-Pee My Bed Tonight

Some videos I post because I think people will enjoy them. Some I post because the song is stuck in my head and I want others to suffer as I do. This song by The Kelly Family falls into the second category. Presented without further comment other than apologies to COED Magazine.

Etsystasy: Sequin Fruit Banana

Since someone should be making money off this blog, it might as well be the people who bring me the greatest amount of entertainment in life: Etsy sellers. Whatever you want, it really is on Etsy. It's like the mall when I was a kid. I don't buy anything. I just hang out. But Etsy has cooler stuff than the mall. I mean, look at this sequined banana from seller StraySquirrels. Or buy it if you have $3.95 burning a hole in your pocket. Can you believe it's only $3.95?

I Hate Myself for Loving Hanni El Khatib

I've posted about my complicated feelings about Hanni El Khatib before, but they just keep getting more complicated. If you weren't paying attention you could mistake his deal for the same kind of flavorless, self-satisfied blues rock wood shedding of The Black Keys or the senseless blues flatulence of John Spencer's Blues Explosion. And while Dan Auerbach did produce the new track below, Hanni is much more interesting than that guy.

I saw Hanni El Khatib play not long ago at The Knitting Factory and it was fucking fascinating. He plays songs inspired by raw blues and maybe a little rockabilly and a lot of them are about fucking and loving and hating with lyrics like "do the knife fight" and you want to him to totally freak out and tear the roof off and he just doesn't. He plays a great show but his approach is so controlled and cerebral, you start to wonder if he's doing it to torture himself or the audience.

If he just got up there and performed the songs and then left, it would be boring, but that's not what he does. He engages the music fully. He's intent and focused like the audience isn't even there. It's like rock 'n' roll is a model car he's carefully painting or a really nice girl that he doesn't want to screw things up with. He puts his whoops and ad libs in at just the right (and expected) moment. The whole time I was just thinking, what are you doing man, and why? So, you know, he definitely had my attention the whole time.

What if he can't freak out? That's a kind of awesome negative capability in itself. I want to be like "dude you are doing it wrong. It doesn't have to be so elegant and stylized like that. You can do it for real. It's not a dead language." But, I can't, because he's actually really good just the way he is. He writes these really well-designed and, more importantly, well-aimed little museum pieces that stop just short of kitsch. And then there's this current of real feeling that always comes through, seemingly in spite of himself. This new one, for instance, is kind of killing me.

Give Miss Platnum the Food

Miss Platnum is a Romanian pop singer and total fucking role model. At one point in this fantastic video for her hit "Give Me the Food" she's stirring a brass band in an above ground pool. There are trees growing salami. Besides being extremely baller, it's all really deep, complex symbolism. The underlying message is that you should go eat a sandwich.

I Would Really Like to Go to Debauch-A-Reno

Slovenly Records is kind of winning at rock 'n' roll right now. The Sticker Guy is putting this on, but the Sticker Guy and Slovenly are two sides of the same coin as evidenced by the fact that a lot of great Slovenly bands are playing this Debauch-A-Reno. I really wouldn't mind seeing Hellshovel, Las Ardillas, Los Vigilantes, Paint Fumes and Acid Baby Jesus all in one place. Also, the fucking Sonics. There's no point in listing highlights. It's all nuts. Just look at the flier.

The festival is in it's second year, which is heartening. I was sad to hear about the Hi-Tone Cafe closing in Memphis, since it has been the home of Gonerfest for so long. I don't believe Gonerfest is going anywhere but it won't be the same without the Hi-Tone. So, you know, it's nice to see new things taking root at the same time.

I'd also like to go because, I lived in Las Vegas for three years and The Misfits is one of my favorite movies, but I've never been to Reno. And I'm pretty sure the festival is going to be exactly like this trailer, only with bands.

Hollywood Nailz Is the Greatest Show on YouTube

It's been out for a sec but, like, so far Seth Bogart's (that's Hunx of His Punx fame) rock 'n' roll variety show has under a skrillion views and that is not enough views. It's only on the first episode but it has Shannon and the Clams and Grass Widow in a battle of the bands and star turns from Nobunny and King Khan and just loads of beautiful people. I cannot wait until the next episode. There has to be a next episode. IFC needs to pick this up right now and I don't want to hear another word about Girls. There are plenty of girls in Hollywood Nailz.

(Full disclosure/gloating: I contributed to the Kickstarter for this so now I have the episode on DVD and an autographed picture of Seth Bogart and Brande Bytheway. I can't decide if I want to keep it or give it away in a Bad Idea Potluck sweepstakes.)

Valentine's Day with Total Slacker and Xray Eyeballs

This flyer is pretty sweet. Also, if you are feeling dread about the celebration of love that approaches us because you think it has to be about having a date (or because you have a date and you think adding a little extra romance to things is a pain in the ass) go to this show. It'll fix all that. Also, quit bitching and get some of those Reese's Peanut Butter Hearts. They're even better than the cups.

When you get to the show, try to hold someone's hand when Xray Eyeballs play "Die Little Love." Extra points if it's a stranger. 

Studs and Broads and Coffee with Avi Spivak

 

Today I get to plug one of my new favorite things and one of my old favorite things in on post! Visionary rock 'n' roll illustrator Avi Spivak is having an art show at Otha's, a new coffee place by my apartment that has strong coffee minus BS, which is unusual in the area. I am pumped and that's not just the caffeine talking.  Go to the opening. Drink the coffee.

Oh, Thank God. New Circle Takes the Square Tomorrow

I have been carrying a torch for the post-hardcore band Circle Takes the Square since I lived in Las Vegas, like, between eight and seven years ago when they played there repeatedly and not many other bands did. I really hope no one ever finds the things I wrote about them back then. Their first album As the Roots Undo was harsh and beautiful and metal and mathy. It pointed to a kind of American mysticism that was basically already where my head was at. It is highly recommended to fans of Wolves in the Throne Room.

I have also been waiting since that time for CTTS to justify my love and put out another full-length and, holy crap, it's almost here.

Starting tomorrow, you can download their full-length Decompositions - Volume I from bandcamp on a pay-what-you-wish basis until pre-orders for physical copies become available in January.The EP Decompositions - Volume I Chapter 1 Rites of Initiation has been out for a few months and it's totally the fix I've been waiting for. They're screaming big words that get tangled in their weird screamo briar maze. I am totally lost in the maze and it is awesome. These people are fucking beautiful. But for real though, tomorrow they're handing over the whole thing. I have a feeling it will have been worth the wait.

Happy Hanukkah, My Little Latke

So, it turns out that Woody Guthrie wrote Hanukkah songs. His second wife was Jewish and stuff and, well, Woody Guthrie wrote a lot of songs. This is great news to me, because I have little to no use for the Hanukkah tunes from Matisyahu and The Maccabeats."Hannukah Dance," on the other hand, is definitely putting me in the holiday spirit. As a wise friend pointed out to me, Irving Berlin wrote "White Christmas" so why shouldn't my favorite Hanukkah song be by Woody Guthrie?

Better Than Something

It was hard for us to say goodbye to Jay Reatard last year, but we think we've healed enough to go see this documentary Better Than Something about the late great entertainer at IFC on Tuesday. In fact, it might give us that closure we've been needing:

Pete Zaria

We are pleased to announce that the winner of the contest to name our pizza monster mascot is Jamaal Jackson, of Seattle, WA. The name is Pete Zaria! Get it? Huh?

Bad Idea Potluck Vs. David Tassy of Night Manager

This blog veers ever deeper into the sordid world of music journalism. This month we put our four favorite questions to David Tassy who plays in a band called Night Manager. He's the one in the illustration above with a mustache and no beard. And, boy, has he ever done some dumb stuff.

Claim to fame: I play bass and guitar in Night Manager. I can also throw up on command.

What's the stupidest thing you've ever done?

I've done my fair share of stupid things. One time I took acid on a Monday night in Manhattan and ended up almost getting on the Staten Island Ferry at six in the morning for no reason at all. But I honestly think the stupidest thing I've ever done was when I was fourteen. I was with my friends Bubba and Face on a Tuesday having band practice. We were bored so we got really high and drank a couple of beers. We decided to go to the golf course and just use garbage can lids as sleds and slide down the hills (it was drizzling that day and it's hard to sled on dry ass grass). Some how we ended up vandalizing most of the course. We threw the fences and barriers in the lake and filled up the holes with dirt. For some fucking reason I thought it would be really funny to WRITE MY FULL NAME on the sod of the tee-box. So I took a stick and carved DAVID TASSY. It took me about 15 minutes to do this. Well guess what? The next day I got a call from Oak Hills Golf Course, " Is this David Tassy?" They found me for OBVIOUS reasons. I had to pay them 2000 dollars for the tee-box and we had to sand like 3000 fences and barriers for the rest of the summer.  

Are you sorry?
Mhmm, I'm sorry that I was stupid enough to write my name. But I'm not sorry for fucking up their shit. I had a lot of fun that day.  

Are you going to do it again?
Honestly, I can't say that I won't!  

Would you recommend it to others?

Yes and no. If you're going to ruin or vandalize anything, don't right your fucking name anywhere. It's just plain fucking dumb. I learned my lesson, "DON'T WRITE YOUR NAME ANYWHERE, ESPECIALLY YOUR FULL NAME."

I've Had All of This Life I Can Handle

This is stuck in my head and I need you to feel my pain: