Friday, July 17, 2009


Why do I need to ransack the Internet to find an appealing picture of a dude with his shirt open? Maybe it's because, in the end, I am not that big of a perv. And neither are a lot of women who are straight or who have strong enough heterosexual leanings that they would, first, search for pin-up dudes and, second, possibly shell out for some. You kind of have to work for this stuff.

I started my search due to the conspicuous absence of the hot male form from my field of vision. I'm not talking real life, of course, I'm talking specifically about instances of sublime objectification. There just isn't enough of it. It's not in ads much, there's only a bit in the movies, even dudes in real life tend to cover it up (it's usually for the best, really) and a lot of the dude porn I do encounter is geared toward gay men or, so much worse, is cinema that explicitly claims to understand my desires and then hands me the iconographic equivalent of a car with a special place for me to put my purse.

I would like lots of pictures of semi-nude men tailor made to my sense of beauty, please. As in, like, not the Abercrombie and Fitch catalog. And I don't want to have to work for them. Google "indie porn" and you will have to do a bit of clicking to find a boy. And when you do, you might not be that stoked on him. I know there is stuff out there and I will pay for it someday, but for now I'm a little annoyed that there is more cheesecake floating around for free.

The naked female form is generally mind-bendingly beautiful. But it's also everywhere. I have naked girl fatigue; believe it or don't. I know I'm not the only one because I have discussed this with my friends. I think the only cure is more naked boys.

Sweet Action Magazine had the right idea but the execution wasn't perfect. My favorite pornish zine is called Blam! Blam! but even that isn't quite what I'm talking about. Especially since I'm not talking about classy erotica. I'm not looking for anything artistic here, which is my problem with a lot of indie porn. Tom of Finland is my homeboy, but the closest thing I've seen to what I really have in mind are these Naked Men in Oven Mitts magnets from Blue Q.

So, all of this is why I'm kicking off my pin-up boy campaign right here on the potluck with a monthly pin-up boy item. I think I'll call it dudecake. The word beefcake doesn't have any appealing associations for me. It makes me think of meatloaf and that just isn't sexy. Not even in The Rocky Horror Picture Show.