I seriously dreamed I talked to god last night. He was kind of like a lion on fire, a giant skull, and an old white dude in a suit all at the same time. At least, that's the way I remember it. Heaven was pretty much an old white dudes in suits convention. Not surprisingly, god said I couldn't come in and I had to go to hell. Not back to earth, not to any kind of purgatory. But he said that it was best to go to hell, for I would be purified there and then I could go to heaven. (This eerily mirrors my dilemmas about trying to go to graduate school.)
Then I had to fight an ogre outside the gates to heaven. He was a tall old white dude in a suit with a space age looking white cudgel and black fingernails. I beat him. Maybe he let me. I don't know.
Before that I was on earth and got into a really stupid and emotional argument with Joanna Newsom. It was probably my fault.
I think these dreams were brought to you by Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale.
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